School mornings - the struggle is real

Posted on July 31 2016

Getting three children dressed and ready to leave the house is an epic task.

You know that movie, 50 First Dates? Where Drew Barrymore suffers a head injury and each day when she wakes, all her memories have gone? The guy that is in love with her, Adam Sandler, has to basically reintroduce himself everyday and get her to fall in love with him.

I am Adam Sandler, and my kids are Drew Barrymore. Each day, my children wake, forgetting that they go to school.

Every day, I wake them up. I creep in, gently kiss them and whisper, 'wake up my darling, it's time to get up'. They are so gorgeous, sweet smelling, warm and snuggly. I am always overcome with love at this point, wondering how I got so lucky. They lightly stir and roll over, not quite ready to face the day.

I go back to the kitchen and start to make my coffee. While the machine is heating, I walk back to their rooms. Treading heavier this time, making my footsteps heard. I remove the doona from their scrunched faces, still gently, but firmer than before. 'Guys, come on, up you get'. At this point I am met with some resistance. The doona goes back up. I pull it back down. They groan. Flip over and bury their sleepy heads in their pillow. 'Five more minutes' they mutter.

Back to the kitchen I go where I add the finishing touches to their lunch boxes, fill their water bottles and pack their bags.

This time I mean business. Sh*ts getting real. Down the hallway I go, flipping lights with purpose, my voice getting louder. 'Right. Up. Now'. Their bedroom lights are on, I tear their doona's back. They screech at me as though I have doused them in boiling oil. 'What are you doing? Turn off the light! My eyes!'.

Nice, Mary Poppins mum has gone. I'm suddenly the evil stepmother from Cinderella. They cannot believe the injustice of being woken from their slumber.

Unnecessarily, or so I think, I yell, 'get ready for school!'. They stare at me like I am speaking a foreign language. As if they have never heard of school, and that we haven't been doing this bullsh*t routine for over 5 years.

To calm my rage, back to the kitchen I go, pour my coffee, and take a sip. Heaven. I need it. It's good. Essential. They wander out. I take a deep breath, force a smile, and ask what they want to eat. I am met with blank stares. 'Guys! Food! Breakfast! What do you want?!' 'Nothing', they mumble, and head to the coonara, where I have placed their uniforms to avoid the imminent 'I can't find my uniform' struggle.

They fight. One is getting more heat than the other. One's clothes are warmer than the other. One pointed their bum at the other and farted. Shrieks of 'NO I DIDN'T, I HATE YOU, YOU ARE A SOOK, YOU LIKE HER BETTER THAN ME' begin.

2 year old is now awake and up. Excellent. Just what I need. He's so cute and cuddly in the morning in his Toy Story pj's. The girls flock to him and inevitably fight over him. He's smart. He plays them against each other. More tears and screams ensue.

I put out the cereal, bread, Nutella and vegemite and call out 'help yourself'. Lazy mother you say. Whatever. I don't care what you think. I tell them I'll be back in five minutes, and that when I am, I want them sitting at the table, dressed and eating.

I have a cigarette. Check Facebook, emails, Instagram, play angry birds. 5 minutes peace. I can hear them inside. I know they are not following instructions.

I go back in and am met with cereal on the ground. No one is dressed, the TV is on. I was a firm believer in no TV in the morning but it's the only way to keep 2 year old occupied. So I allow it. But they are ALL watching it. Glued to Toy Story like they haven't watched it 543 times this week. 'No! No no no no!' Breakfast now!' 'I want French toast' says one. 'I want fruit salad' says the other. 'You have to get up earlier than you do if you want stuff like that for breakfast', I say. I slice a banana in a bowl each, dump yoghurt on it and declare it a fruit salad. Or a deconstructed smoothie. Whatever. They eat it.

Once again, I tell them to get dressed. I can tell they are hearing me but it's not sinking in. They are still shocked that they must get dressed. I am the one shrieking now like a deranged hag, and as I head to the shower, I hear them mutter things like 'psycho' and 'what's her problem'.

I take a four minute shower, as I don't trust them to be unsupervised for any longer. They still manage to interrupt my shower time by using the toilet, flushing it while I'm in there, burning me in the process. 'Sorrrrry' they say, smiling sweetly. I know they aren't. They meant it, probably even planned it. It's my punishment for making them get up and get dressed.

My short but sweet shower has somewhat calmed me, and as I'm drying off, I call out, 'are you guys ready? Clothes, shoes, hair, teeth, iPads?' 'Yes mum!', they lie. I shouldn't have mentioned iPads. Why did I do that. I quickly dress and head out to the lounge room. Miss 9 is dressed. Sitting on the couch doing a video on her iPad. Miss 6 is half dressed with Nutella in her eyebrow, taking selfies on her iPad. They jump up as they see me, they know I'm mad. 'Im ready!!' says Miss 10. I raise my eyebrow. That does it. I have fierce eyebrows. She is in the bathroom brushing her teeth in 2 seconds. Miss 6 is oblivious. She's still taking selfies but is now pirouetting as well. She's just started dancing. I grab her like a baby, wash her face, put on her pants, do her hair, and lead her to the bathroom. I put her toothpaste on her brush and stand there like a teacher supervising a test. She does a mediocre job, slower than a sloth, so I take over and brush her teeth. She spits. Half in the basin, half down her shirt. Happy days. She wipes it with her wet hand, smearing it further so it looks like a pelican has shat all down the front of her. Deep breaths. Pick your battles. At least people will know she actually brushed her teeth. That's important.

I quickly dress Mr 2. This is like wrestling an oiled piglet. I shove him into his clothes while he is shooting me with 'rays' and pretending to be a race car driver, complete with sounds. I am covered in his spit from said sound effects, but it's time to go.

We are all ready, all we need to do is get in the car. Simple!


I open the front door, and suddenly everyone is conscientious. They want to be first out the door and in the car. This causes jammed fingers, screams, and tripping. When my front door opens, it's as if my house has suddenly given birth to screaming demented massive triplets. Sorry neighbours.

We get in the car. Seatbelts are on. I reverse out the driveway and we are on our way. I hear a very quiet 'muuum' from the back seat. My eyes flick to the rear view mirror. Miss 6 shrinks in her seat. 'I forgot my water bottle'. 'I put it in your bag' I tell her. 'I took it out again' she says. I breathe and try not to plant my foot on the accelerator. Luckily my car is as untidy as my house. I reach behind me and pull an empty pump bottle from under the seat. Crisis averted.

We arrive at school. We made it. We hop out and walk in. I kiss goodbye like mother of the year, tell them I love them and that I'll miss them. I'm lying. I love them. But I won't miss them. Not until I've gotten home and cleaned up the aftermath of the morning.

This is not an extraordinary day. This is every day. I've gotten up earlier, I've tried routine, I've tried everything. I've made their breakfast, they don't eat it. Nothing seems to make the mornings go any smoother. They still manage to move slower than the sloths in Zootopia.

I'm sure when they are grown up and gone, and the house is quiet, with no hustle and bustle, I'll look back on these days with fondness. I'll laugh about Nutella in the eyebrows and pelican crap on the shirt. But now? Man it's hard.



  • NERO J: July 04, 2022

    I came across many testimonies on google testifying of DR EMU a voodoo spell caster that will help you cast a LOTTERY SPELL and give you the rightful numbers to win the lottery, i didn’t believe it, at first but as life got harder i decided to take a try, now my try has made me a millionaire, i have been playing all types of lottery since 4 years now but i have not win up to $1000, after contacting him he cast the LOTTERY SPELL and give me the hot figures behold i won $50,000 now i am a living testimony of the good work of DR EMU, it is my secret but i decided to make the world known too. It might be a help to any one who is interested, this happens last week ago you are free to contact him
    WhatsApp phone number +2347012841542

  • Gavin Wear : July 02, 2022

    I am here to spread this good news to the entire world on how Dr Emu helped me solve my infertility problem and i am so happy now that i am now a mother because for over 4 years i have been trying to get pregnant and needed help, i and my husband always go for medical check up and the doctor always say that the both of us are fine and i have nowhere else to get help from and all hope was almost lost until one day i visited a friend of mine and i told her what i was passing through and she introduce me to this great spell caster called Dr Emu who helped her when she was in need of help, so i took a try to contact Dr Emu through his email and i explain all my problem to him and after we have talked he perform an infertility spell for me and after that he told me what i should do, and i followed the instruction he gave and after that he instructed to sleep with my husband and also i followed the instruction and he said that the next week i should go for medical check up and the doctor confirmed that i was 4 months pregnant and i was so happy that all my sorrows were gone for ever, i am so very happy now and also if you need any kind of help or the same line with mine, contact Dr Emu on his email: or call/text his whatsapp phone number +2347012841542 visit facebook page: 104891335203341

  • Nicole Morris : June 24, 2022

    I ordered a job spell on a Friday night and on Monday the place I applied for a job called for me to come by their office. They gave me the job I applied for and made me an offer of more per hour than I have ever made in my life! I am so happy! Government jobs sometimes are a slow process. You somehow managed to speed up that process, and I start in just a few days! DR EMU I will be forever grateful thanks once again. You can call on him for help on his email address or add him up on his WhatsApp +2347012841542. DR EMU also lent a helping hand to the following } 1. GETTING YOUR EX LOVER BACK. 2. WINNING LOTTERIES. 3. CHILD BEARING. 4. BREAKING OF GENERATION COURSE. 5. GETTING OF JOB. 6. JOB PROMOTION. 7. HERBAL CARE. 8. SPIRITUAL PROTECTION. 9. HERBAL CARE. 10. SPIRITUAL PRAYER. E.T.C.

  • 온라인카지노: June 20, 2022;redirect=

  • Beth Walter: December 20, 2021

    How i got back my ex husband after he left me and our kids” I suggest you read my testimony. I’m Beth Walters from the United state, I’m so excited my husband is back after he left me for another woman. My husband was having an affair with a co-worker and i love my husband so much but he was cheating on me with his co-worker and this girl i think she uses witchcraft or black magic on my husband to make him hate me and this was so critical and uncalled-for, I cry all day and night for God to send me a helper to bring back my husband! I was really upset and I needed help, so I searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Lord Zuma can help get ex-boyfriend back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and I did it, then he did a love spell for me. 11hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he misses me so much, Oh My God! I was so happy, and today I am happy with my man again and we are joyfully living together. I thank the powerful spell caster Lord Zuma, he is so powerful and I decided to share my story online here. if you are here and your Lover is turning you down, or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact Lord Zuma for help now..Here’s his contact, or WhatsApp him: +1 506 800 1647

  • Hair growth Cap: October 14, 2021

    hair regrowth

  • MollyBus: October 01, 2021

    Kinky Stepdaughter and Howife roles: meet me at OnlyFans!

    Привет, ребята!
    Я Молли, из Бразилии.
    Хочу снять несколько видеороликов о соблазнении моего отчима.
    И о моей роли Горячей жены: трахаться с другими мужчинами, когда мой муж знает об этом.

    Мне 24 года, у меня красивое спортивное тело, большие сиськи, большая задница и натуральные вкусные губы :)
    Подписывайтесь на мой профиль, общайтесь со мной, присылайте свои идеи для видеорепортажей!

    Я непредубежденная дама без всяких границ в голове))) Люблю делать необычные вещи.

    Увидимся на OnlyFans! Удачи!

  • vrosnogotSl: June 02, 2021

    Ухоженные ногтевая пластина по руках и ножках – такое признак такового, то же читатель индивидуальность ухоженный плюс аккуратный, однако бывает, такое что также еще и у аккуратных людей происходят различные воспаления ногтевой пластины в характера заражения, вросших ноготков плюс подобных заболеваний ногтиков. Ключевой причиной этого может фигурировать невнимательность к местности, которую носитель грибка может визитирует: шуз рынок, фитнес, примерочные, джакузи или неудобная туфли, более такого плюс неудовлетворительное количество веществ у крови сумеет привести до ломкости роговой пластины.
    Профилактика данных вирусов ногтей работает верным подбором подходящих препаратов Vros-Nogot.Ru, поход к врачу и непрерывный забота за проблемными ногами. Здесь на указанном веб-страничке флуконазол при грибке ногтей отзывы на ногах досконально продемоснтрированные все грибок ногтей, сообразно с ними пользователь сумеет столкнуться, о них широкое растолкование и исходные шаги, какие поддержат Вам инициировать первые действия по выздоровления болезни. Точно надежная плюс практическая данные касательно подобному решения сосредоточена определенно по указанном страничке.

  • Williejow: May 31, 2021

    Я в этом уверен.

    дизайн проект квартиры сочи цена

    черт,у меня не пойдет блин!(

    частный сектор кучугуры цены

    Могу порекомендовать зайти на сайт, на котором есть много информации по этому вопросу.

    проектирование домов в сочи

    Я думаю, что Вы ошибаетесь. Предлагаю это обсудить. Пишите мне в PM, пообщаемся.

    электросамокат купить цена

    Вы попали в самую точку. Это отличная мысль. Я Вас поддерживаю.

    В этом что-то есть. Спасибо за информацию, может, я тоже могу Вам чем-то помочь?

    Согласен, это замечательная информация

    игровые играть резидент

    сморел мне понравилось

    book of ra вулкан

    ОоОО… супер! спасибо! ))

    бесплатные игровые автоматы вулкан онлайн

  • Josephhon: May 30, 2021

    Я готов вам помочь, задавайте вопросы. Вместе мы сможем найти решение.

    Микросхема NE555P

    оч даже!

    Полностью разделяю Ваше мнение. Мне кажется это отличная идея. Я согласен с Вами.

    стол разлома стекла купить

    Я считаю, что Вы не правы. Могу это доказать. Пишите мне в PM, обсудим.

    виготовлення ліків за рецептом

    Прошу прощения, что вмешался… Я разбираюсь в этом вопросе. Готов помочь.

    старые фото

    netgame отзывы

    Я не пью.Совсем.Поэтому не все равно :)

    “и то правда”

    Эта фраза просто бесподобна ;)

    кредит плюс личный кабинет войти по номеру

    Я считаю, что Вы не правы. Предлагаю это обсудить. Пишите мне в PM, поговорим.

    резидент ивел играть

  • Adriangoade: May 29, 2021


    цветы в шляпной коробке недорого

    Да, я с вами определенно согласен

    срочное изготовление печатей и штампов

    Сожалею, что не могу сейчас поучаствовать в обсуждении. Не владею нужной информацией. Но с удовольствием буду следить за этой темой.

    курсы тренеров по фитнесу обучение

    ОГО , ну наконецто

    анализ seo оптимизации сайта

    фигасе О_О

    Извиняюсь, но не могли бы Вы расписать немного подробнее.

    компьютерная диагностика машины цена

    Это интересно. Подскажите, где я могу найти больше информации по этому вопросу?

    продажа аккаунтов overwatch

    Очень хорошая фраза

    аккаунты вк

    Вы ошибаетесь. Могу отстоять свою позицию. Пишите мне в PM, обсудим.

    drift casino forum

    Прошу прощения, что я Вас прерываю, но, по-моему, эта тема уже не актуальна.


  • Robertpex: May 21, 2021

    дешевые проститутки

  • GordonEmoma: May 20, 2021

    проститутки в Иркутске

  • ParAssog: May 20, 2021

    эротический массаж

  • MichaelStync: May 20, 2021

    интим услуги в иркутске

  • gamesellru: May 17, 2021

    I understand this question. Is ready to help.

  • Darrenrency: May 12, 2021

    Надеюь из за качества уловлю смысл!

    Я подумал и удалил эту фразу

    Вы, может быть, ошиблись?

    Поздравляю, мне кажется это отличная мысль

    Эта фраза придется как раз кстати

    Да это все фантастика

    Замечательно, полезная мысль

    Могу порекомендовать зайти на сайт, на котором есть много информации по этому вопросу.

    Прямо в цель

  • Robertgosse: May 11, 2021

    аккаунты фортнайт xbox

  • Wapp2canru: May 07, 2021

    Текущий бизнес совершенно вовсе не работает без адаптации до веб параметров плюс разработки приложений именно для постоянных юзеров, которые в начальную очередь помогают покупателям мгновенно взять интересущую инвентарь, тем же оптимизируя работу и прибавляя продажи для основную компании. Программирование электронного странички для деятельности фактически маст важно, в случае если ваше дело требует эффективно масштабироваться также продолжаться.

    Проверенная компания на разработке онлайн систем осуществляет полный виды разработок на счет разработке веб-приложений для уникального бизнеса на ИСО также Андроид: исследование, понятный-макет, особый улучшения к требованиям, прием отборных вкладок под потенциальных клиентов, обработка эксплуатации, построение, проверка, интеграция, систематическая опора и иные типы работы, какие убирают любую занятость.

    Именно для комфорта наша команда советует заказчику три вида укомплектованных услуг по демократичном цене, что подключают в себя точно примечательные плюс App2Can.Ru задаваемые требования. Достаточно детально про всех разработки и бонусы Вы сумеет получить именно на данном сайте затем прямо объединиться с сотрудником для более досконального уточнения.

  • denidenx: May 06, 2021

    Онлайн пространство постоянно набирает тренд, и постоянно направляет по этому заинтересованность, как новичков, также и отличных мастеров. Принимая во внимание огромная интерес также стабильное развитие выбранной области, действительно привлекательным ресурсом станет этот сайт – это выбранный причал для всех веб пользователей плюс любого желающих, кто развивается на сфере программного системы либо хочет постигнуть заносить теги в программе. На веб-страничке пользователь сумеет найти множество чего конструктивного, от как статьи ведет действительный веб-верстальщик, тот что вовсе не лишь открывает личным разумом, но также описывает секреты также пишет личные предложения именно для первых читателей. Абонент можете подобрать увлекающий вкладку по сайту: создание сайтов, SEO, WordPress, Линукс, тренировки или же блог – выбирайте по целей плюс постоянно добывайте пригодную данные. проверенное наполнение, занятные глава и основные рекомендации по деятельности ай-ти реально взять именно в этом сайте, если же Вы работает в нашем ресурсе.

Leave a comment

Join our Mailing List

Sign up to receive our daily email and get 50% off your first purchase.

My Cart

Subtotal: $0.00

Your cart is currently empty.