The Kmart post

Posted on June 12 2016

Whoever is buying for Kmart needs a big fat pay rise. Although they may be currently hiding from outraged husbands everywhere, they deserve a massive pat on the back.

I'm a self confessed Kmart tragic. It's the adult equivalent of toy kingdom, the thrifty shopper's Mecca. I'm also a massive tight arse so it's my jam. It's cheap, sometimes nasty but it's addictive. And dangerous. (In a non life threatening way).

The other night Sam and I decided to go to Kmart. Off we drove to Plenty Valley. We needed a few 'fill in' items for some photos. Although we have so many TSID outfits at our fingertips, who can resist a 6 buck tshirt?

On the way there we gave a little thought to how long we would be. An hour? Hour and a half? Yeah right. It was 8.30pm and PV shuts at 10. We laughed and laughed and headed up Plenty Road to the 24hr store in Reservoir.

It was a freezing cold rainy night, the sort that encourages you to stay home by the fire in your dressing gown, but we are dedicated to Kmart. Not even a Category 5 cyclone can keep us away. 2 minutes in the door and it's begun. Phrases like 'omg I totally need that... This would look SO good on you... That totally matches your... I need a new...' began pouring out of our mouth like verbal diarrhoea.

We grabbed a trolley. To share. I know, I know, rookie mistake. 'I need PJs', says Sam. 'Same', I said. I don't. I have plenty. But something in that flouro lit cave of heaven made me forget that I even own ANYTHING. On the way to the PJs we see shoes. 'Shoes!!' We squeal, like two school girls who have spotted Justin Bieber. Our ugg boots were off quicker than a bride's nightie and we tried on shoes that were completely superfluous to our already overflowing racks at home. We managed to convince ourselves that the Kmart 'cons' were just EXACTLY like the real deal (who reads labels right?) and we both grabbed pairs in each colour.

Ok now where were we. PJs. Yes. But OMG look! LONG SLEEVED TEES! We absolutely OMG NEED 17 each. Done. Trolley is looking very full. At this point we had trouble even looking each other in the eye. We knew we were on a very dangerous slippery slope to retail hell. I wordlessly slip off and get my own trolley. We split up our items without a sound and continue. We reach the PJs. I very reluctantly abstain. Sam doesn't. Her trolley is now fuller than mine. I'm winning.

At this point Sam remembers that her baby daughter could use some clothes too. So we chuck a U-y and head back through womenswear to the kid section. OMG! Flannelette shirts! With hoods! 'Yep I need that' I say firmly. 'I'll live in it, I know I will'. I'm speaking as convincingly as a defence attorney but I'm wasting my breath. Sam isn't going to talk me out of this. She's got my back.

While Sam heads to the baby clothes I'm waylaid by a wall of cushions. A WALL. Like a deer in the spotlight I'm stopped in my tracks. I look at my trolley and back at the wall. Even if I was to buy cushions, there's no room in my trolley. At this point I start to do some pretty serious soul searching, and start asking myself the big questions in life, like 'do I need all the shoes in navy, red, olive, white and grey?' 'Will I wear my flannelette with pride or will I feel like a lumberjack?' I'm still standing there when Sam comes back. She can sense my dilemma. The stench of potential buyers remorse coming off me in waves. 'Are you ok Hun?' She asks. 'Not really' I say. 'I just think that the money I wasn't going to spend at all today would be better spent on stuff for the house. Rather than outfits and shoes. I don't NEED this stuff, but I do need cushions. Like bad'. She sympathetically smiles at me. She knows I'm right and is supportive.

Our late night trip has suddenly taken on a new direction. Our energy increases. We take stock of our trolleys, and start putting it all back. Armed with a clean slate, we head to homewares. With vim and vigour, we talk colours, we are acting like the judges from the block, our dialogue peppered with phrases like 'bang on trend' and 'interesting palette'. We are strutting like we know our shit and we once again begin to load up our trolleys. I have a concrete candle. A timber fruit bowl, cushions and a throw rug. Ooh look! Teaspoons! I need teaspoons. I'll have 2 packs. I don't give a toss if they don't match my set. I'm tipping they will end up with the missing others, in the bin at school.

I spot a painted canvas. It's $6. 'I think I need that Sam'. I say tentatively. 'YES!' She squeals in her special Sam way. I grab it and add it to my wares. I turn around the corner and all of sudden there's another canvas. A nicer one. With different colours. It's $19. Pricey. I like it better, but the $13 has me thrown. Now I know that even as I write this that that sounds ridiculous, but when you are on a spree like I am, every cent counts. Now all my other stuff doesn't match. I once again empty my trolley into a dark nook (sorry Kmart staff) and once AGAIN, hunt for soft furnishings in my colours. We re-approach the wall of cushions, and all of a sudden the Libra in me comes out. I can't make decisions at the best of times but now I'm sweating and hopping from one foot to another like a toddler busting for a pee. 'I can't do this!' I wail, 'the canvas is now a different colour in this aisle and I'm worried it won't match my couch. You are going to have to choose Sam, I just can't even begin'. My patient, stylish, calm friend has got my back. Again. She sets up a little mini section and starts recreating my lounge room, grabbing brown leather boots to mimic the colour of my couch. She grabs cushions, sends me off to find a neutral throw. She sorts me out in seconds and restores me to normal. I'm done.

We decide to leave when the sound of thunder booms through the store. The rain is beating down so hard, we know we need to keep shopping to avoid getting wet. So we do. Sam finds kitchen canisters. I re-grab the fruit bowl, a chopping board, some tea towels. It's 11.45pm. We MUST leave.

This part is probably the scariest. Scanning your items, doing a final 'do I or don't I' and paying. Buyers remorse comes creeping back and I swat it away with murmurs of 'I deserve this'.

We drive home laughing again. We really shouldn't be allowed out together. We are enablers to each other's addiction, the worst kind of friend.

She drops me off and I sneak in the front door trying not to wake everyone with my rustling bags. I quickly set out everything. I feel like a Block contestant with 5 minutes til reveal. I do this so my family don't wake to my bags. I naively assume my new items will blend into our decor of towels on the ground from last nights shower and the 83 plastic cups they have used that day.

I creep into bed, willing my husband not to wake. He doesn't. I'm safe.

Next morning I get a phone call. 'Nice cushions Love', my husband says. 'You noticed?' I say incredulously. Im shocked. I ring Sam to see what she thought of the photo I sent her of my newly styled lounge before bed. She is laughing as when her husband got up, he questioned the bongo drums she had sitting on the bench. Canisters. They were her new canisters.

Does anyone else do this? Do you have a Kmart buddy? Do you hit the shops and find yourself losing all control and sensibility? Tell me all about it!

Claire X


  • Cindy Jason: March 16, 2024


    God did it for me again with the help of Dr Kachi with his love spell to get my husband back. we divorce 3months ago and since things become so hard for me because I love my husband so much, But he was chatting on me with another woman and he always goes to party every night my husband doesn’t care about me whenever he get back at night he will be beating me up with no reason, I cry every night and day to get my husband back to his normal love and affection that he give to me before. but nothing was working out for me I try my best I left him with my kids but I couldn’t sleep at night without thinking about my husband, then one day I was reading a new online about our politics and I see a comment about Dr Kachi how he restored broken relationship back and marriage, i didn’t believe in love spell at the first place, then i have to make further research about Dr Kachi I opened his website I can’t believe what I saw a great man helping people return their lover back and being happy in relationship again. I went fast and contacted Dr Kachi to help me restore my marriage back, after I provided the required needed to cast the love spell, the next day my husband come back to me and apologies for him leaving me and the kids Dr Kachi made me the happiest woman on earth I am so happy, I do appreciate your kind help bring my husband home, you can also contact him and seek for help in break up in married Via Text Number Call: +1 (209) 893-8075 Email drkachispellcast@gmail. com

  • Sarah Love: March 15, 2024


    Hello, My name is Sarah Love Tover. I live in Dover, Delaware. My boyfriend Juan Tover and I have been dating for the past 4 yrs we were to get married but it never happened..he constantly messes around with his ex’s and other females every time he got caught he apologized and me to forgive him and I keep taking him back because I’m truly in love with this man but after a while he started messing around again. I had to do something about the situation. I went online and saw various testimonies of how people got their ex back but one testimony of Dr Odunga helped me find the right solution and I am very happy I contacted Dr. Odunga regarding my problem. My boyfriend is now my HUSBAND. We got married in United Church in Dover. My problem was solved. I am extremely happy to put his email to anyone out here looking to solve his/her relationship problem. You can also Whats-App him with his mobile number +2348167159012

  • Vivian Marcus: November 26, 2023

    Hello my name is Vivian Marcus from the United State, i’m so exciting writing this article to let people seek for help in any Break up Marriage and Relationship, Dr Kachi brought my Ex Boyfriend back to me, Thank you Sir Kachi for helped so many Relationship situation like mine to be restored, i was in pain until the day my aunt introduce me to Dr Kachi that she got her husband back with powerful love spell with help of Dr Kachi So i sent him an email telling him about my problem how my Boyfriend left me and cheating on me because of her boss lady at work i cry all day and night, but Dr Kachi told me my Boyfriend shall return back to me within 24hrs and to me everything he asked me to do the next day it was all like a dream when he text me and said please forgive me and accept me back exactly what i wanted, i am so happy now as we are back together again. because I never thought my Ex Boyfriend would be back to me so quickly with your spell. You are the best and the world greatest Dr Kachi. if you’re having broke up Ex Lover or your husband left you and moved to another woman, You do want to get Pregnant do not feel sad anymore contact: his Text Number Call: +1 (209) 893-8075 You can reach him Website:

  • Mavis Wanczyk: November 22, 2023

    Being the winner of a multi-million dollar lottery certainly will be a life-changing event for almost every single lottery winner. My name is Mavis Wanczyk from Chicopee, Massachusetts, the famous PowerBall lottery winner of $758 million (£591m). I know many people would wonder how I had won the lottery. Would you believe me if I told you that I did it with spell casting? I met this famous spell caster known as Doctor Odunga and he was the one who did it for me. As shocking as it was to me, my famous comment to the press was “ I’m going to go and hide in my bed.” Never did I believe that Doctor Odunga made me wealthy overnight. If you want to have your chance of winning and becoming very wealthy just like me, contact Doctor Odunga at OR WHATS-APP HIM at +2348167159012 and you will be lucky. Thanks for reading and hope to see you at the top

  • Natasha Thompson: November 14, 2023

    My name is Natasha Thompson from the USA/Texas.. Am so overwhelmed with gratitude to let the world know how Dr Kachi, the great spell caster changed my life for good. It all started when I lost my job and I was down financially and emotionally because I couldn’t be able provide for my two kids and staying home all day Jobless it’s not easy until I was checking on the internet when I saw a series of testimonies hearing people winning the Powerball lottery, I didn’t believed, but being poor no job you have no option. I gave it a try and I contacted Dr Kachi who told me what i have to do before I can become a big lottery winner and I accepted. He made special prayers for me in his temple and gave me the required numbers to play the lottery game and when I used the numbers to play it, I won a massive $344.6 million Powerball jackpot. I was so happy and I choose to review my winning in any platform, I would love other people to seek help from Dr Kachi through Text and Call: +1 (209) 893-8075 or email by his website:

  • DANIEL RAY : November 09, 2023


    Good day Audience, I want to use this great medium to announce this information to the public about Mr MORRIS GRAY. few months back, I was seeking an online BTC investment plan when I got scammed for about $172,000. I was so down and didn’t know what to do until I came across a timeline about Mr MORRIS GRAY. so I reached out to him and to my greatest surprise, they were able to recover all the funds which I had previously lost to the Devils. I am so glad to share this wonderful news with you all because it cost me nothing to announce a good and reliable Hacker as Mr MORRIS GRAY, His direct email is Morris Gray 830 at gmail dot com, WhatsApp: +1 (607) 698-0239…..!!

  • Edwin Dicine: September 25, 2023

    Hello everyone, my name is Edwin Dicine. Am from Los Angeles California. I want to introduce a good testimonies of Dr Kachi the great lottery spell caster who helped me to win a story on how I win million After reading about a article who Dr Kachi helped, I got in contact with Dr.Kachi and he told me that he going to help me cast a spell that will profit me when I play the Powerball game, and i do believed him and took action. After he casted the winning number spell, I played the Powerball Ticket, and i won greatly which I did today I’m here shearing a testimony about this same man Dr Kachi help me to win $45 million dollars, I am so happy for meeting this great spell caster that has changed my life, You can also contact Dr Kachi the legend spell caster to help you cast a lottery spell and win too, he might be of help to anyone who is interested. contact: his Text Number and Call: +1 (209) 893-8075 his Website:

  • شركات نقل عفش واثاث بجدة: August 20, 2023

    شركات نقل عفش واثاث بجدة
    شركات نقل عفش بالطائف
    اسعار وارقام شركات نقل العفش بالمدينة المنورة
    دينا نقل عفش جدة ,افضل دينا
    ارخص شركه نقل عفش بجده
    دليل شركات نقل العفش بجدة
    شركة نقل عفش برابغ ,15 عام خبرة
    شركات نقل عفش واثاث بالباحه
    وسائل نقل العفش بخميس مشيط

  • شركة سكاي نقل العفش: August 20, 2023

    شركة سكاي لخدمات نقل العفش والاثاث بالمنطقة العربية السعودية نحن نوفر خدمات نقل اثاث بالرياض ونقل عفش بالمدينة المنورة ونقل عفش بمكة ونقل عفش بالطائف نحن نقدم افضل نقل اثاث بخميس مشيط ونقل عفش بجدة شركة سكاي نقل العفش مدونة لنقل العفش شركة نقل عفش بمكة شركة نقل عفش بالرياض شركة نقل عفش بالمدينة المنورة شركة نقل عفش بجدة شركة نقل عفش بالطائف شركة نقل عفش بالدمام شركة نقل عفش بالقطيف شركة نقل عفش بالجبيل شركة نقل عفش بالخبر شركة نقل عفش بالاحساء شركة نقل عفش بالخرج شركة نقل عفش بخميس مشيط شركة نقل عفش بابها شركة نقل عفش بالقصيم شركة نقل عفش بينبع شركة نقل عفش بنجران شركة نقل عفش بحائل شركة نقل عفش ببريدة شركة نقل عفش بتبوك شركة نقل عفش بالظهران شركة نقل عفش برابغ شركة نقل عفش بالباحه شركة نقل عفش بعسير شركة نقل عفش بالمجمعة شركة نقل عفش بشرورة كيفية نقل العفش بينبع اسعار نقل عفش بينبع البحث عن شركات نقل العفش بينبع شركات نقل العفش بخميس مشيط كيفية نقل العفش بخميس مشيط اسعار نقل عفش بخميس مشيط شركة جلي بلاط بجدة تنظيف فلل بجدة شركة نقل عفش بجازان افضل شركة تنظيف بجدة

  • شركات نقل عفش بمكة: August 20, 2023 نقل عفش شمال الرياض شركات نقل عفش بخميس مشيط شركة نقل العفش بخميس مشيط شركات نقل اثاث بخميس مشيط افضل شركات نقل اثاث بخميس مشيط شركات نقل اثاث بخميس مشيط نقل عفش جدة نقل عفش من جدة الي الاردن اسعار شركات تنظيف خزانات بجدة نقل عفش من جدة الي مصر نقل عفش من جدة الي لبنان شركات نقل اثاث بجدة افضل شركات نقل اثاث جدة شركات نقل العفش بينبع شركة نقل عفش في الطائف شركات نقل العفش طرق نقل العفش خطوات نقل العفش والاثاث افضل 10 شركات نقل عفش اختيار شركات نقل العفش والاثاث شركة تنظيف منازل بالطائف شركة تنظيف شقق بالطائف شركة تنظيف فلل بالطائف شركة نقل عفش نقل العفش والتخزين شركة نقل عفش بالدمام شركة نقل عفش بالمدينة المنورة شركة نقل عفش بجدة شركات نقل العفش بمكة شركة نقل عفش بمكة شركة نقل عفش بالطائف شركة نقل عفش بالرياض شركة نقل عفش بينبع نقل العفش والتخزين شركة نقل عفش بالمدينة المنورة شركة نقل عفش بالمدينة المنورة نقل عفش بجدة ارخص شركة نقل عفش بالمدينة المنورة شركة نقل عفش بالقصيم شركة نقل عفش بخميس مشيط شركة نقل عفش بابها شركة نقل عفش بتبوك

  • شركات نقل عفش بمكة: August 20, 2023

  • شركة ريلاكس لنقل العفش والاثاث : August 20, 2023 شركة ريلاكس لنقل العفش والاثاث شركة نقل عفش بالطائف شركة نقل عفش بالرياض شركة نقل عفش بجدة شركة نقل عفش بمكة شركة نقل عفش بالمدينة المنورة شركة نقل عفش بخميس مشيط شركة نقل اثاث بابها شركة نقل عفش بنجران ِشركة نقل عفش بحائل شركة نقل عفش بالقصيم شركة نقل عفش بالباحة شركة نقل عفش بينبع دينا نقل عفش بابها نقل الاثاث بالمدينة المنورة ارخص شركة نقل عفش بمكة شركة نقل عفش بالخرج شركة نقل عفش بالبقعاء شركة نقل عفش بجازان

  • شركة تنظيف موكيت بالقطيف: August 20, 2023

    شركة مكافحة حشرات بالقطيف وكذلك شركة كشف تسربات المياه بالقطيف وتنظيف خزانات وتنظيف الموكيت والسجاد والكنب والشقق والمنازل بالقطيف وتنظيف الخزانات بالقطيف وتنظيف المساجد بالقطيف شركة تنظيف بالقطيف تنظيف المسابح بالقطيف شركة مكافحة حشرات بالقطيف شركة كشف تسربات بالقطيف شركة عزل اسطح بالقطيف شركة تسليك مجاري بالقطيف شركة تنظيف كنب بالقطيف شركة تنظيف مساجد بالقطيف شركة تنظيف سجاد بالقطيف شركة تنظيف خزانات بالقطيف شركة تنظيف وصيانة مسابح بالقطيف شركة تنظيف الاثاث بالقطيف شركة تنظيف شقق بالقطيف شركة تنظيف موكيت بالقطيف شركة تنظيف مجالس بالقطيف شركة تنظيف منازل بالقطيف شركة تنظيف ستائر بالقطيف شركة تنظيف فلل بالقطيف شركة جلي بلاط بالقطيف

  • Albert Walker: August 09, 2023

    Good day to all viewer online, my name is Albert Walker I am so overwhelmed sharing this great testimony on how i was checking for solution in the internet while miraculously i came across Dr Kachi who brought my ex Girlfriend back to me, This is the reason why i have taken it upon myself to thank this great spell caster called Dr Kachi, because through his help my life became more filled with love and i am happy to say that my ex Girlfriend who has been separated from me for the past 2years came back to me pleading for me to accept her back, This was a shocking to me my partner is very stable, faithful and closer to me than before, because before i contacted Dr Kachi i was the one begging my ex Girlfriend to come back to me but through the assistance of Dr Kachi, I now have my relationship restored. You can also have a better relationship only if you Contact Dr Kachi Website: https:// OR Email: You can reach him Call and Text Number:+1 (209) 893-8075

  • ashley walters: August 05, 2023

    My name is ashley walters !!! i am very grateful sharing this great testimonies with you all, The best thing that has ever happened in my life,  is how i won the Powerball lottery. I do believe that someday i will win the Powerball lottery. Finally my dreams came through when i contacted Dr. OSE and tell him i needed the lottery winning special numbers cause i have come a long way spending money on ticket just to make sure i win. But i never knew that winning was so easy with the help of Dr. OSE, until the day i meant the spell caster testimony online, which a lot of people has talked about that he is very powerful and has great powers in casting lottery spell, so i decided to give it a try. I emailed Dr. OSE and he did a spell and gave me the winning lottery special numbers 62, and co-incidentally I have be playing this same number for the past 23years without any winning, But believe me when I play the special number 62 this time and the draws were out i was the mega winner because the special 62 matched all five white-ball numbers as well as the Powerball, in the April 4 drawing to win the $70 million jackpot prize…… Dr. OSE, truly you are the best, with Dr. OSE you can will millions of money through lottery. i am a living testimony and so very happy i meant him, and i will forever be grateful to him…… you can Email him for your own winning special lottery numbers now OR WHATSAPP him +2348136482342

  • Lilian Morgan: August 02, 2023

    HOW I GOT MY HUSBAND BACK HOME WITH THE HELP OF A REAL AND GENUINE SPELL CASTER DR IFADE TEXT OR CONTACT VIA WHATSAPP +15513334259 OR EMAIL HIM ON Regard LILIAN MORGAN. My name is LILIAN MORGAN and I am from the United States. I almost took my life because of my husband who left me and stopped picking my calls and answering my mails and my messages. He said  He do not trust me anymore, I tried to convince and beg him, but he would not believe or answer me until we had a fight and  broke up for 6months, after that I realized I can not live without him because of the love I have for him. I tried everything possible to get him back, but non worked for me, some fake spell casters scammed me and went away with my money until I came across this man called Dr IFADE he helped me cast a spell  and behold my husband came back after 48 hours, begging me for forgiveness, I was so surprised that spell caster like Dr IFADE still exist. If anyone here needs some help, with all sincerity, contact Dr IFADE today On Contact him via is whatsapp number +15513334259 indeed you are a priest thank you for making my home a happy home again. i can never stop talking about you sir.  DR IFADE is really a great man you can contact him for solution for any kind of  problems like (1) lottery spell (2) ex back (3) get pregnant (4) cure for any kind of sickness, disease and infection And many others contact this great man today and get your Problems solved.

  • Debbie Arnold: July 30, 2023

    I am out here to speed this good news to the entire world on how I got help from Dr Kachi a great lottery spell caster that will help you cast a lottery spell and give you the rightful numbers to win the lottery, I didn’t believe lottery spell at first but as life got harder i decided to give a try, I spend so much money on tickets just to make sure I win. until the day I met Dr KACHI online, which so many people have talked good about, that he is very great when it comes to casting lottery spell, he told me the necessary things to do and behold it was like a magic, i won $20 Million Dollars Florida Powerball Double Play with the numbers Dr Kachi gave to me. his a really trustful person worthy and reliable, i am sharing this to you who have been finding it so hard to win the lottery, Thanks you Dr. Kachi who helped me contact email OR Text Number and Call: +1 (209) 893-8075 Visit his Website:

  • 해외스포츠배팅: July 28, 2023
    해외배팅사이트 추천_
    해외스포츠배팅사이트 추천_
    해외배팅사이트에이전시 추천_

  • Debbie Arnold: June 19, 2023

    I am out here to speed this good news to the entire world on how I got help from Dr Kachi a great lottery spell caster that will help you cast a lottery spell and give you the rightful numbers to win the lottery, I didn’t believe lottery spell at first but as life got harder i decided to give a try, I spend so much money on tickets just to make sure I win. until the day I met Dr KACHI online, which so many people have talked good about, that he is very great when it comes to casting lottery spell, he told me the necessary things to do and behold it was like a magic, i won $20 Million Dollars Florida Powerball Double Play with the numbers Dr Kachi gave to me. his a really trustful person worthy and reliable, i am sharing this to you who have been finding it so hard to win the lottery, Thanks you Dr. Kachi who helped me contact email OR Text Number and Call: +1 (209) 893-8075 Visit his Website:

  • sam smith: June 16, 2023

    I just want the whole world to know about this spell caster I met
    two weeks ago, I cannot say everything he has done for me my wife
    left me 3 years ago left with my kids I was going through online
    when I meant this wonderful man’s testimony online I decided to
    give it a try and my wife is back to me now and we are happily
    married again cause is too much to put in writing all I can say is
    thank you very much am very happy Contact him today on or whatsapp him on +2348136482342.

Leave a comment

Join our Mailing List

Sign up to receive our daily email and get 50% off your first purchase.

My Cart

Subtotal: $0.00

Your cart is currently empty.